some time ago, bena told me something along the lines of how she doesnt see a point in getting too close to people, because in the end everyone just leaves. at that time i didnt agree at all because i felt that then you won't ever have people to enjoy your life with, and so your life will always be less enjoyable than what it could be. but now i actually understand. meeting someone new means that you become emotionally attached to yet another person. someone who, before you met them, your life was perfectly fine the way it was. unknowingly and so quickly, you've attached sentiments to this new person and suddenly, ive realised that this just means yet another time which will hurt when the person has to leave for whatever reason.

five years is a long time, and five years of an experience will make you who you are today. this experience of this course has taught me many things. it taught me discipline, responsibility, resilience, and perhaps most importantly, how difficult doing something can be (it doesnt have to be studying, it can be anything). i constantly ask myself why didnt i choose something easier to do, but then i think i would be a totally different person if i had chosen another path. so i convince myself that this was all for a reason that would come into play eventually. the mind is a funny thing because the mind forgets so easily. what feels absolutely tortorous one day is quickly forgotten in a week, let alone a year. i can barely remember how i felt for the Os or the As although i am pretty sure i hated my life then as well. which is why im writing this down to remind myself of how difficult doing something can be and if/when i have kids to remember never to force them to do anything they don't want to do and to council them to make sure that they make informed choices. be truly prepared for how hard it is going to be because i know what it feels like. as ridiculous as it sounds, studying for exams is absolute bullcrap shit and i hate it.

i almost feel happy about this exams because its the last one ever!!!

once again, exams have made me ponder about the meaning of life.

i really really want things to be better. please teach me how/show me the way.

such a familarly hated time of the year strangely already tinged with a hint of reminiscence

Sweet As

The New Zealand trip was awesome. I experienced some of the most amazing moments of my life there. It's been so long since I've seen and done so many new things, the whole trip was absolutely wonderful. What's struck me is that that half of the fun of the trip came from the people that we met along the way. The friendly receptionist, the funny bus driver, the interesting backpacker, the helpful service staff, the cute skydiving instructor, the sexy french waiter, the smiles that people on the street greet you with. It's brought about a whole new meaning to travelling which i had not considered before and makes me almost ready to travel out there on my own.

The only downside of such a good holiday is when you come crashing back down to reality. It really feels like i've left vet school behind a million years ago when it was really only two weeks. I feel like ive forgotten everything and even feel slightly anxious about going back to uni. Feelings of inadequacy fill my mind and I wonder how is it that I am ever going to be a competent vet at this rate of forgetfulness.

This trip was supposed to be a well deserved break and a recharge for the run to the finals. I really want to be able to channel it into motivation rather than dreariness and the longing for fun and inconsequential jobs. Let's hope we get there.

Thing of the day!~ Definitely all things kiwi.

guess what's this! (you can't guess if you already know what it is)

The Thing of the Day is without a shadow of doubt the soundtrack of Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. i totally know why they call it the infinite playlist..cos u can play it over and over and over again and not be sick of it! LOVE the show, LOVE the soundtrack. Thank you gods of music for some respite in such terrifying times.

Names that baffled me until i googled their latin meanings.

orchid means testicles, which is why stuff related to the testicles uses the root word orchid. eg: orchitis, cryptorchidism. The flower was named orchid becuse its roots resembled testicles.

cervix means neck, which is why the neck vertebrae are called the cervical vertebrae. the cervix of the female reproductive tract is called so because it is the 'neck' of the uterus.

this was inspired when i was reading about the cervical star in my pathology notes. hahaha